I miss my daddy =[

soooo, my dad has been away from me for way too long.
I havent seen him in almost a year.
last time I saw him, I cried like a huuuuge baby when he had to go.
you'da thought I was 5 or some shit.
but I really wanted him to stay =[
and u know whats funny about the whole situation?
I never call him.
ever.
you'd think because I miss him so much, I'd call him
but in all actuality, hearing his voice and not being able to hug him hurts even more than not hearing him at all.
so I don't call =[
me and my dad have a very special relationship.
it all started when I was 6 years old.
up until I was 6. he was just a guy.
Yeah I lived with him, we laughed, watched tv together, blah blah, but still...we didn't have a relationship that went too far beyond daughter and father.
my dad and mom split up when I was 6.
the day he decided to leave...he kidnapped me =| lol.
I was scared as shit! lol, but at the same time, wasnt...because I knew he didnt wanna harm me.
Just didnt want me to NOT be living with him anymore.
he picked me up from school that day and said
"we're not going home"
we went over to my uncle's house, and there we stayed.
not knowing that my mom had NO clue where I was, I just relaxed and chilled.
he took me back home later that night, and he cried on our way home.
I had never seen my daddy cry before...ever. not once BEFORE that situation...and not once AFTER. funerals...injuries...nothing. NEVER...EVER...seen him cry, just that one time.
he road down some street and parked. I had no idea where I was.
"you know I love you right?"
"yeah"
"you know I'll never leave you right?"
"yeah..."
tears started to form in my eyes...I knew where this was headed.
he hugged me, started the car back up, and we went "home".
Red and blue lights flashed on my street. the closer we got, the more I realized those lights were directly infront of MY house.
we pulled up, got out the car, and walked up to the house.
my mom ran out the house and smacked him harder than I had ever seen anybody smack anyone before, right before the police started to question him.
she hugged me.
he peeped at me through the police officers...I peeped back.
and there we stared at each other.
me, not paying attention to her. him, not paying attention to the police.
just us...looking, and saying "i love you, too" with our eyes only.
yeah...that's a vidid memory i'll NEVER forget.
I miss my daddy =[ and sometimes...sometimes I just wish he'd come back home.